Being wheeled out of the hospital with my new baby was one of the most surreal moments of my life. I could not believe that my husband and I were solely responsible for this new tiny human being that we had created. I was still in shock (and pain) from delivering her and was nervous to go home and take care of her without the aid of the amazing nurses and doctors we had gotten used to having around to help us (while I was also recovering from major surgery myself). I was terrified but also excited to go home to my own bed and the cozy little nest that we had created for her. I could immediately feel that my life had forever changed, and I was excited and ready to take on my new role as Mom.

I quickly realized that parenting books and advice from family and friends just does not register in your brain as what your new reality will actually be. I honestly did not even HEAR what people were saying about not sleeping, and life not being about me anymore. I had never lived a life like this, so I just couldn’t comprehend it. Once I went 36 hours in the hospital with no sleep, I think my brain finally said “Oh shit. This is serious.” Not sleeping is not fun, but I will say that 89% of the time, I was in heaven.

Not everyone agrees with me on this. The baby phase is not for everyone, but I absolutely loved this age. I actually think the newborn stage is almost easier than a few months later when your baby WAKES UP and is so curious and wants to see and do everything. The first month they really do just sleep all the time. Maybe not at night, and definitely not for long stretches at first. But they do sleep a lot. My husband and I watched the entire series of Suits while home with our first newborn. With our second baby we did not have this leisure time since we had two kids to take care of, so definitely enjoy your sweet solitude with your first baby. I found it to be quite magical.

To care for your newborn, there is a lot of snuggling and just getting to know each other. I did tons of skin-to-skin. I basically lived in my bathrobe those first few weeks. Whether breast or bottle feeding, establishing a good feeding routine is the main priority at this stage. I wrote a separate post on breastfeeding, and also love this article which offers a guide on bottle feeding. When I would supplement with formula, my girls both did very well on Enfamil Gentlease. I think this is a great formula to start with because it is extra gentle on their tummy. You definitely need to feed on demand, but you will also start to learn your baby's cues of why they may be crying. Always go through the checklist of are they hungry? Do they need a diaper change? Do they have gas/or a burp? Are they tired? Over or under-stimulated? Do they want to be held? Are they too hot or too cold? Are they sick or in pain? These basic questions will help you to find the answer that will soothe your crying baby. Just remember, crying is their only way to communicate with you, so try to be patient and calm (they really do feed off of our energy) and trust your momma instincts.

Once your baby reaches 4-6 months (I think right before 5 months was the sweet spot for both of my girls) you can start introducing solid foods. You can tell when they are getting interested by including them at meal times and seeing when they start to reach for food. They need to be able to sit up and hold their head up on their own. We loved having them on the dining table with us in these supported seats at meal times. I started with rice cereal mixed with a little breast milk (or formula or even water is fine) and would offer a jar of baby food as a “dessert.” Our pediatrician gave us great advice to start with vegetables before giving fruits. If you start with fruits, they prefer sweeter food, so it’s a great idea to help them acquire a taste for vegetables first. This worked for both of my girls! After rice cereal, we moved on to oatmeal. Then closer to 6 months you can move on to fun solid foods like soft fruits and vegetables, pasta, yogurt, cheese, or baby puffs (these were my girl's favorite).

To keep my baby calm and sort of teach her to trust me, I tried to stay on a routine schedule so she could begin to learn what to expect each day. After nursing her, I would burp her, then play with her a little (as a newborn this basically means staring into each other's eyes and cooing at each other- magic!). Once she would get sleepy I would change her diaper (or sooner obviously if she needed it) and rock her to sleep. I’m a believer that you only get to have a baby for a short time of life, so I liked to hold them and rock them as much as possible. Once she would wake up we would basically do this all over again. I think it is helpful to have curtains opened for a well-lit room during the day and lots of interaction with the baby to encourage longer stretches of sleep at night. Of course, this does not always work, and you absolutely do not want to sleep-train a newborn, but I think routine is very helpful for babies.

The nights will come when the baby will cluster-feed or have gas, or just want to be awake at the wrong time, and nights will feel endless. During these times, just remind yourself that this is temporary, and catch up on your sleep however you can. Whether this means pumping so your partner can feed the baby, or asking your mom to come over to give you a long nap during the daytime, you do need to take care of yourself as well in order to take care of your baby. Sleep is an absolute necessity for every human being, so be there for your baby first and foremost, but be sure to ask for some help during the rough patches to catch up on sleep where you can.

Once you get your feeding and sleeping routines somewhat figured out, life will start to feel a little bit more normal again. Another important baby care basic is keeping your baby clean. I think diaper changes are something that is not really well instructed in the hospital. Obviously, you always wipe front to back and make sure you get them very clean. I think it’s worth reading an article on how to wipe your baby correctly to make sure you are covering all of your bases. It’s not rocket science, but it’s important to keep in mind that a newborn baby’s skin is SO sensitive. Be sure to change their diapers often and I highly recommend using Aquaphor immediately if you notice any redness at all. Even pink. If a diaper rash starts to form, use the Aquaphor with Butt Paste over top of it and it should clear up rather quickly. I also use extremely sensitive wipes to prevent irritation of the skin. I also liked to use soft, snuggly diapers for newborns. Our firstborn got a bad diaper rash that we had to take her to the doctor for when she was first born because we were just not aware of these tips, so I hope this is helpful for a new parent out there! This was one of those learn as you go experiences that I wish I had been prepared for ahead of time.

Baths are also obviously important for keeping babies clean. I did shallow baths with warm water. If you have a bath thermometer around 100* is a good bath temperature. Always test the water with your hand before putting the baby in. You want to make sure it’s definitely not too warm but also not too cold because they will hate it otherwise. I loved the bathtubs with a sling for newborns because they are so wiggly. Just be sure to fill it high enough so their bottoms get a good soak. These sling bathtubs are also great for while they still have their umbilical cord stub since you’re not supposed to submerge that in water. I also loved to lay a little warm washcloth over their chest too to keep them warm while I would wash their hair. Just remember to always watch your baby every single second in the bath. Baby bath time is the best once you get them to like it (The “Baby Bath Time” Doc McStuffin’s song is STILL one of my kid’s favorite soothing songs). We have an Amazon Alexa dot in our kitchen and had a “Baby Bathtime” playlist that would play the same songs for every bath. I stuck with a gentle Aveeno shampoo/soap combo and would use their lotion in the wintertime as well. They also have this amazing soak and even an Eczema cream for winter if baby’s skin gets super dry or irritated. I loved these products for both of my girls. Once they were all clean I would almost always have them in snuggly sleepers. Just be sure to keep them dressed appropriately for the temperature, just like bath time, you do not want them to be too hot or too cold.

Once you have a clean, fed, and rested baby you are doing great! Other than lots of snuggling and love and affection, there’s not much more to do! Keep your baby’s environment in mind. Quiet and calm is obviously best but not always in your full control. I did try to keep things as serene as possible while they are learning their new surroundings (It was obviously quieter for my firstborn than my second). Tummy time is also something you can start right away. I waited a few weeks (maybe even a month) before starting this with my girls, but it is great to give them a little exercise and tire them out. If they would cry I would gently roll them back over and try again another time. Obviously, you never leave a baby unattended during tummy time. Having a fun activity mat to keep them engaged and entertained makes this a perfect “playtime” for babies. Another great way to engage their senses when they are so little is to go for walks. Being outside in nature is so soothing and they can hear the birds chirping and feel the warm breeze. This is great for both mom and baby. I loved my Graco jogger for walks because it was such a smooth ride for a little baby. I also loved using a muslin blanket with a little clip to attach to the stroller shade to protect baby from getting too much sun. You can also use a car seat cover, but I felt the blanket was thin and still allowed a nice breeze to pass through.

I think the best advice I received as a new mom is that if you are worried about being a good mom, you already are one. This basically means that if you care, you are already doing everything you can to make your baby feel comfortable, safe, and loved, and that is everything they need. There will be crying and confusion (from both parties) but there will also be so much love and joy and peace. Just take all of the positive moments and let them be your power source during the bad. Adopt the mantra “This too shall pass” for the newborn phase. It will actually pass more quickly than you can imagine, and I promise you will miss it. The saying “The days are long, but the years are short” is so incredibly true. Soak it all in momma, you’ve got this!