*Written 3 months after my first daughter was born:
Despite my frantic googling before my scheduled C-section (my baby was breech), I was completely unprepared for what to expect. I had never had any type of surgery before, let alone major surgery. In fact, I was so afraid of surgery that I had never even had my wisdom teeth removed. I tried multiple therapies and procedures to get my baby to turn head down to avoid this day, but nothing worked. Thankfully, my c-section was completely routine other than a few minor inconveniences, and I delivered a healthy baby girl.
My recovery did not go as smoothly as my surgery, which I credit to being unprepared about what to expect. The main thing that I was unprepared for was the lack of sleep. Of course I knew that newborns come with this side effect, but I didn’t expect for it to start immediately while still in the hospital. I woke up the morning of my surgery at 7 AM and I did not fall asleep until 7 PM the following night. I do not recommend going 36 hours with no sleep while also trying to figure out how to keep your new tiny human alive. As a first-time mom who had never spent the night in a hospital before, there was just too much happening for me to be able to fall asleep. The hormones and adrenaline you feel after delivering your baby also make sleeping difficult. I was eventually given a sleeping pill on my second night after I had an emotional breakdown from being awake for so long.
On the first day, we had visitors right after my surgery. I actually think this is a good time for visitors because you’re heavily medicated, and probably still feeling pretty good. After the visitors left, it was the constant stream of people that I was unprepared for. Nurses, lactation consultants, nurses aides, and doctors all perform very important duties, but there is pretty much someone in your room every two hours, even in the middle of the night. This made it impossible for me to sleep because I adopted a “what’s the point” attitude.
The other reason for my lack of sleep was definitely due to being a first-time mom. I was very scared because babies delivered by c-section have fluid in their lungs that babies delivered vaginally get out during delivery, so throughout the first day and night she would cough and make choking sounds. I was completely terrified by this and was convinced that if I did not stay up all night and watch my baby sleep that she would not make it through the night. So I did just that- stared at her while she slept- the entire night. This only lasted the first night. The second night my husband and I took shifts staring at her while she slept ;)
Breastfeeding was another cause of my lack of sleep. When my baby would wake up to nurse, I would need the lights on and a lactation consultant would come in and help me because I was having trouble with her latch. In the post-op room, I couldn’t feel that she did not have a good latch because of the pain medicines I was on, so I was down to one nipple to nurse her while the left side healed. My breastfeeding journey was off to a rough start. By the first night, it was suggested that I pump on the left side and feed her that milk from a syringe. This was actually comforting because I was new to breastfeeding and I liked being able to see how much milk she was getting. Getting her to latch correctly was much more difficult than I had anticipated. The nurses in the hospital were so helpful (although some of the lactation consultants can be a little intense!). It took me a good six weeks to get the hang of it. I even went to private lactation appointments for a few weeks after I got out of the hospital. One interesting thing I learned from them was that my baby preferred certain nursing positions because she was breech. They really have seen it all and I definitely recommend getting some assistance if your heart is set on breastfeeding.
I think the most important part of C-section recovery is staying on top of your pain medication. No one had explained to me that in addition to the spinal block, you are given Morphine during surgery. When the nurses came around asking me about my pain level, I was honest and told them it was at about a 2 on a scale of 1-10. Not one warned me that in just a few hours the Morphine was going to wear off and I was going to be in excruciating pain. I was happy to take the Tylenol/Motrin route because I was not feeling too bad. I was completely unaware that my level 2 pain was about to become a level 25. These opioid medications are made precisely for recovering from major surgery. Please allow me to be the person to inform you to take the stronger pain medications. I was told by one of my nurses that a pain level of 6 gets you a higher dose of medication, so even before (especially before!) you are in pain take every dose of pain medication offered. It is much easier to keep the pain away than it is to climb on top of it after it is already hitting you full force. Please learn from my mistake!
During my first 24 hours in the hospital, I only took the Tylenol/Motrin combo and was still feeling ok (the Morphine takes 24 hours to wear off). On the day after my surgery, I decided to take a walk around the halls (this was recommended by the nurses and doctors to help your body heal quicker). However, just as I started walking the halls, I began to feel the pain from my morphine wearing off. I barely made it back to my room. When I went to sit down on my hospital bed, the pain was so bad that I started to lose consciousness. I felt like my body was on fire near my incision and felt like I couldn’t breathe. Suddenly, I couldn’t see, and I had to hold myself up because I was feeling extremely faint. All I could say to my husband was “Doctor” and he rang for our nurses that I was having an emergency.
A team rushed to my room and gave me oxygen and discovered my blood pressure had plummeted. They gave me some sort of medication through my IV to get me back to baseline. I was told this was a vasovagal attack caused by extreme pain. I was feeling better after a few minutes, but I was not able to get back into bed until I had some opioid pain medicine and it kicked in. Even then, I was fully in tears every single time I had to get in and out of bed for the next 24 hours. That’s when a doctor told me not to be shy about my pain level and make sure I was getting enough medication. I would always say I was at a 5 because I was feeling ok while I was laying in bed as the nurse asked me, but she said I was really at a 10 if I was in tears getting in and out of bed to go to the bathroom. I should have been receiving the higher dose those first 2 days but instead I was in extreme pain. So that is my number 1 recommendation to anyone preparing for a c-section. I have friends who say their experience was not bad, and it is because they stayed on top of their medication. Let the nurses know to wake you up if you are asleep when it is time for your dose. It is that important. My pain was so bad on my second day in the hospital that I wasn’t able to have any visitors.
So to re-cap: I checked into the hospital on Thursday afternoon and by Friday I was in (an unnecessary) hell. By Saturday morning, I had finally gotten a little bit of sleep and I was able to take a shower. I was so weak and miserable the first day after surgery that I didn’t even use a makeup wipe or take my contacts out until Friday evening. Once I was able to shower and put pajamas on instead of the hospital gown, I felt like a new woman. This is when my husband and I laughed about what we had packed. He had brought his laptop with movies to watch on it and books to read. I had brought a hair dryer, and makeup. We laughed and said, “What the hell did we think was going to be happening here?!” I must say, my husband went above and beyond those first 48 hours when I was unable to get out of bed. He was a pro at changing diapers before we even left the hospital. It definitely made me love him even more to see how he took on that responsibility and took care of both me (even helping me go to the bathroom and shower) and our daughter.
By Saturday afternoon, we had so many visitors because I wasn’t able to have any on Friday. I would recommend keeping your visitors to a minimum when recovering from a C-section. Recovery is not an easy road, and people just don’t realize what you are going through. Everyone is so excited to see the baby, of course, and if you are a people pleaser like me, you sort of smile and suffer through it even though you are pushing yourself too much. A social worker actually came into my room at one point to talk to me about having a strong support system, but there were so many people in my room talking and laughing that she just said “I see we are all good here” and left! It was so nice to have everyone meet our baby girl, but I do wish I would have waited one more day so that I could have enjoyed the visit more. Once everyone left, I was so exhausted (and hormonal) that I cried. But every day got a little bit easier.
My husband and I spent 4 days total in the hospital. My doctor had told me to expect to stay 3-4 days. We were asked to stay the extra day because our daughter had lost more than 10% of her birth weight. I really struggled with breastfeeding in the beginning and they wanted to make sure she was getting enough to eat and that her weight got back up (which it did, thankfully). I was dying to go home because I had such a hard time sleeping in the hospital, but I’m actually grateful that we stayed the extra day because I got extra help with breastfeeding and taking care of our daughter, and I was able to get my pain managed a little bit better. Once we got home, I had stairs to climb to get to the bathroom so that extra time was really necessary for me. I also had a nurse that encouraged me to push myself a little bit more with walking on the last day. Even though I was in a lot of pain, I knew the more I moved the faster I would heal. That really helped motivate me to get out of bed to walk to the bathroom or sit in a chair and just move around my room more. I was so afraid to hurt myself that I was afraid to move, but knowing that the pain was normal and would help me heal helped me mentally. There were so many little things that I learned along the way that I think would have helped me if I had known them sooner.
I remember when they wheeled me through the hallways to leave the hospital I had tears streaming down my face as I held my baby girl. It was so surreal. I couldn’t believe I was going home with my baby! I was so happy. I sat in the backseat with her as my husband drove us home (at about 25 miles per hour). We were so excited but also nervous that we were now on our own!
The whole 2 weeks that my husband was on paternity leave, the three of us slept downstairs in our family room together. My husband and I slept on the couch and she slept next to me in her bassinet. When she would wake up, he would change her diaper and I would feed her and then we would all go back to sleep (for about 2 hours!). We were exhausted, but that time was magical as we learned our new normal and really became a family. It was such a special time.
By the time I went to my 6-week follow-up appointment at the doctor, things had gotten much better with my pain, and my scar was healing well. I only took pain medication at home my first week and then made sure to wean myself off, since I was conscious of opioid addiction and aware that it can happen to anyone. I was careful to monitor how I was feeling and would go longer periods between pills to see how much I really needed. I switched back to my Tylenol and Motrin combo for the following few weeks. I made an effort to be active and move around the house throughout the day at home which definitely helped speed up my recovery process. Although, it blew my mind that I needed my husband’s help to even put my underwear and pants on! I made sure I took a shower every day and let hot soapy water run over my incision. My bandage was still on and you have to be careful not to let the water run directly on it, but one of the surgeons doing rounds in the hospital had told me that a little bit of the soapy water running down would help prevent infection.
By the 2nd week, I was able to walk long enough to go to Target and the grocery store and even went on some short walks around our neighborhood. We ate a lot of takeout and delivery food in the beginning, but slowly you get the hang of everything and learn to manage your time a little bit better. Eventually, you will start grocery shopping and cooking, and cleaning again. Although my favorite things during recovery were having a cleaning service come every other week and using curbside pickup at the grocery store! Little things like that were lifesavers. I’d suggest accepting any help that is offered, although that is easier said than done. One of our neighbors made us a casserole when we came home from the hospital and it was the sweetest gesture. We ate it for three days! Let someone clean your house if you have the means, let someone watch the baby while you go to your bedroom and take a nap- these are offers I turned down that I would later regret. Like sleep when the baby sleeps… I don’t think I ever did that once I left the hospital, and I should have! There were days when I would be so exhausted and it was my own fault for trying to do too much.
These are all of the tips that I am able to remember. I can’t believe my baby girl is now 3 months old as I write this! I’d suggest if you are preparing for a C-section, just go into the experience knowing that you are getting your precious baby out of it. There is no better gift in this world. Listen to your body and don’t push yourself too much when it comes to recovery. Stay on top of your pain medication. Soak up precious moments with your new little one. Make sure your nurses know how much you appreciate them (we ordered them pizzas our second night and gave them a box of chocolates when we left). I will also share that you probably won’t poop for a good 3 days! So don’t eat anything too heavy, or drink anything carbonated, because it will make your gas pains much worse! I drank tons of water and lived on veggie omelets and fruit for breakfast and sandwiches on wheat bread with baked chips and apple juice for lunches in the hospital. My husband got us takeout for dinners. I was also breastfeeding, so I ate a cookie with my lunch and a brownie with my dinner each day! I swear sugar is necessary for breastfeeding (at least that’s what I am still telling myself 3 months later). Just try and eat things that will nourish and heal your body- and help you poop! They gave me stool softeners and Milk of Magnesia by Sunday which I would recommend. It’s not glorious, but it’s nice to know what to expect! I did at least know about the ginormous pads and the mesh underwear :)
This is my story. Everyone’s is different. Some people who have had C-sections will say I am dramatic and that theirs was a breeze (like some of my friends). Others have had serious problems other than pain, like scary complications for themselves and/or their baby (like another close friend of mine) which helps to put things into perspective. I am grateful that I had a routine surgery with no complications, but I did have some hiccups with recovery that could have been avoided. I think it’s important for moms to be open and honest about their experiences, so I’m just doing my part by sharing my story and hoping it helps someone :)
Update: I did have another c-section experience two years after I wrote this. My second delivery went much more smoothly, and so did the recovery. I actually delivered my second daughter during Covid, so we were not allowed to have any visitors. I must say, this was kind of nice. I was able to just rest and recover and get home to our other daughter (who was very excited to meet her baby sister!). I stayed on top of my pain medicine which made the biggest difference. I also did not push my body as much. The nurse I had for my second experience told me that just walking to and from the bathroom was plenty, and I completely agree with that advice. I would sit in a chair instead of laying in bed when eating my meals which was a nice change and also good for my body to move around. I also packed myself a little toiletry bag for my bedside table this time which had a toothbrush/toothpaste, a small hairbrush, makeup wipes, deodorant, contact solution/case, and glasses… this way I had everything I needed right next to me without having to get up. I even brushed my teeth at the sink the very first night. I only stayed in the hospital 2 nights the second time around (compared to four the first time) both because of Covid and wanting to get home to our other child. I felt ready to go home when we did since things were going so smoothly. I hope sharing this advice can help someone avoid the mistakes that I made and have a smooth recovery after surgery. If you have any questions or any further advice you think I should add here, please reach out and let me know!
